C'est difficile

You know me well, sitting on the edge of my seat.
Looking at life, overanalyzing everything.
Always depressed, trying to find a better version of me.
Searching for something I know is probably right in front of my feet.
Stubborn as me? Maybe not, but you're close to it.
Got a lot of issues, I'm trying to work through them.
Going to therapy for you is something that's worth doing, when I know you been there for me through all of my worst moments.
And I know it hurts knowing that I carry this weight on my chest.
Making it difficult for me to open up and connect.
Lot of regrets, I apologize for all of the stress.
That's not what I meant to do, you know I love you to death.

Even if we both break down tonight.
And you say you hate me, and we go to bed angry.
I know everything will be alright.
I'll be here waiting, I promise I'm changing.

I just need,
a little time to show you I'm worth it.
I know that I can be a difficult person.
I'm a stress case, drive you up the wall when I'm working.
Actually, I'm probably worse when I'm not, you don't deserve it.
Make you nervous because you know I'm going to break soon.
Every time I do, I say something that hurts you
Acting like I'm gone, but we both in the same room.
I don't like to be wrong, which I know you relate to.
And I know I make you feel like you're at the end of your rope.
That's when I look at you and tell you I'd be better alone.
Just the pride talking, isn't it? Because both of us know, I'm the definition of "wreck" if you look into my soul.
Comes out the most when I feel I'm in a vulnerable place.
Made a lot of mistakes I wish I knew how to erase.
When I'm afraid, might get distant and I push you away.
But no matter the case, I'm going to do whatever it takes.